when can i stop those weird movements?

haa!! that's it!! either he's weird or i m the one who is weird.....this is really maddening....how i wish i can go around and snap at anyone i see...that's impossible though...and besides...im too coward to do such things....yes...what he do is right, what he do makes sense...he din give a damm bout other people feelings....what he did is just only for yx and cf...i can totally understand...but then...the fury in me just dont keep down...what i wanna say...WHAT IN THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO ME!? i dun used to be like this...have i really changed? for the better or the worse? can someone provide me an answer? i really am confused, i really need someone to confine to...but i just dun trust anyone...i duno why...i cant understand! is as if im trapped in the darkness....i cant see what holds in front of me...i cant tink, i cant breathe...i cant find a way out...there's no light to guide me thru...i really want back the old me...the cheerful me..not a me that thinks so many negative thoughts and it has no benefits for the body nor the mind....i m feeling so helpless till i wanna cry...bt i must learn to be stronger...i dun wana be a person that bumps into tiny diffculties and started breaking down in tears....i dun wan this type of me! it's so useless! i feeling so sore...i really dun have the mood to study for the ct...
then...wL said i m a detestable person...i have a detestable character...i got attitude problem, this and that...is like..hello? u think u very perfect mehh? u gentleman mehh? u not detestable mehh? bhb lo!! sticking gold at ur face...u feel great right? u have the right to be angry...while i dun...u rather tell what happen to u to cF , yx and Ll...but not to us! teacher must be right...u din treat us as best friends..."best friends" is just fo show...u bought my poa book home...i nag a bit..u said im scolding u...fine...but a single "sorry" also dun have...still dare to be angry with me over such things it was like...what's wrong with"be great that lkp never scold mi, or else *crack knuckles*"?....u can say sorry to hW for bringing her poa book home...hello? m i not a human or wad? are u treating me transparent? yes...u may say things that u refer them as "im joking"....herh...do u noe that u hurt people's feelings at the same time? DO YOU NOE? i bet u dun...u will say im calculative...bringin of wad has happened long time ago and quarrel such tings over....sometimes...i will say that cf really ish a fortunate gal..she has friends that can confine with her...everyone will go round her as she;s friendly...as a matter of fact...u might as well say im jealous...i m....but then...no matter how hard i tried, i still cant do it...i really m a coward...i really m...stupid me