Am i or am i not?

watched "nv ren wo zui da"[cant remb the english version of it = =] this afternoon after being cheated for having Namie Amuro appearance after da ge da

today;s topic discussion is on "chibi kawaii no onna" you know, those who pretended to be overly-femine and acted as if they're made up of glass and will shatter once touched ladies?

these girls usually had a facade in front of them and the real self will only be out when they interact with their friends or closed one...that's terrbile...horrible...vegetable...alright...i'll stop joking for now...

the problem is, i fear i might just hit on to this criteria...cause you see, i just realised myself that i tend to be extra quiet when my friends are not around...usually, i will just roar about, crack jokes here and there...blah blah...but this doesnt exsist anymore when im with somemone who i just met...i really dont know why...i would love to bring out that outgoing chattering atmosphere out but something is restricting myself to do so...

One good example will be the recent meeting up with L-san....before he came, i and keng was chit chatting away bout the recent things...but when he came over, is almost like bizzard had came and my sitting posture went still like a block of ice...i managed to tone down the trembling but i still tend to tremeble...i duno why made me do that....i was like @%@^&@# what the hell! stay still! it's not as if u first met him! relax! = =;; durh...im just so timid....a lot of questions prepared to ask him...but raised none...gee...= =;;; if only i can be as outgoing as hong does....